I am employed. It’s been over 7 months since I was laid off and I’ve learned a lot in that time. I’m very fortunate that I was given a severance worth 6 months of my salary. Without that, this time would have been much more difficult and I would surely have lost a lot. I consider myself lucky that I never had to collect unemployment or miss any payments or sacrifice much at all.
Declaration of Independence
For the past 12 years, what I’ve wanted to do more than anything was work independently. The only thing that kept me from doing before was time and money. Now I had plenty of both. And I thought I had an ace up my sleeve with the economy in shambles. I could market myself as a hired gun and a company could bring me in on a per-project basis without the hassle of paying for my benefits or matching my 401(k). It seemed like a win-win in a shaky economy. However, getting your name into the world and getting people to recognize you as a resource takes time. Time takes money. And as I watched my severance money dwindle I would have moments of extreme fear.
Doing What Works
I read an article on Zen Habits about the number one dream killer: Doing What Works. This is so true it hurts. In February I had turned down a job offer at a company where I knew I’d be miserable. I also hadn’t had any freelance work since mid-January. As time passed I started to freak out and I went with what works. I started really looking for full time work in March.
An exciting opportunity came knocking when Amazon flew me out to Seattle to interview me for a Senior User Experience Designer position. I convinced myself that this was a prestigious position and that I would be crazy not to take it if they offered it to me. Freelancing would have to wait. But what happened is that I kind of sunk myself in the interview. I don’t believe I did it intentionally but somewhere I wanted freelancing to work and I wanted to give it a real chance. So during my grueling 6-hour interview I subtly, but surely, sabotaged myself.
A series of interviews with other companies followed. My resume was strong and garnered a lot of interest. But interview after interview failed. I was growing frustrated that I couldn’t seal the deal. The interviewers could see what I was unable to at the time; I did not want to work for anyone.
Let the Freelancing Begin
In mid-April, some freelance work began to trickle in. And then, in the early part of May, the flood gates opened and I had more work than I could handle. I’m not really sure how it happened and I don’t know if I could ever replicate it but I was getting work on a regular basis. I could barely keep up. My dream was finally coming true, and I hated it.
I didn’t like working nights and through the weekends. In the corporate world I would do that occasionally but it was usually rewarded with a little time off or, at the very least, a pat on the back. I felt like freelancing was consuming me and giving me no time to enjoy my life. I had built up freelancing in my mind as a way to take control of life and enjoy things more. But the truth was that I was consumed by my business and I had to constantly worry about what I was working on and where I’d get the next bit of work.
The other problem was that my career wasn’t advancing the way I’d hoped it would. I love graphic design and I think building sites in CSS is fun but I want to move forward and concentrate more on solving usability issues. It’s moving away from the nuts and bolts and more into theory and analysis. But as a freelancer, I was not catching any interest in these skills. I was being hired for my graphic design and coding experience. It was kind of like taking a step backwards.
Chris All Together
Now that I had my priorities sorted I was ready to find the right opportunity. And as luck would have it, there were 2 such opportunities right here in Denver. Both companies needed someone to come in and address usability concerns with systems they design. This was the kind of work I’ve wanted to do. Fortunately for me, both companies liked my resume and both companies wanted a phone interview. Then they both wanted an in-person interview. And now I have 2 offers.
It was never a matter of whether or not I had the right skills. It was about what I wanted and how I presented myself. Until I gave freelancing a real chance I was never going to be happy working at a company again. In my mind, I had to know that I tried and it wasn’t for me.
I hope that my quality of life is going to be better thanks to this whole experience. I know what I want now. I want to solve usability challenges. I want to leave work at work and spend quality time with my family and friends. I want to have happy-hour beers with my co-workers. I guess I’m more of a corporate drone than I thought I was.
A Twitter Thanks
By far, the most useful networking tool I had during my lay off was Twitter and I’d like to give a Twitter shout-out to @corygrunk, @pdpilot, @ElPocho, @jluciano, @bryanzug, @TheBigKlosowski, @pchuck, @dhinman, @heavywinter, @dradclif, @lednine, @ryanisinallofus, @joshclauss, @tugglmatt, @iVolunteer, and @senator_larson.
Thank you for the advice, referrals, and work. You’re all awesome in my book.